Weddings can be elaborate affairs or intimate, private occasions—but whatever the size or style of your wedding, your immediate family is often always involved (or at least invited). You might want them to be involved and most likely they will want to help – so what responsibilities might you delegate to them?
"Marriages not only mark the united of a couple—they also involve the meeting of two families. Certain family members may be given specific roles within the wedding, but it is fine to assign roles—or not—to best fit your particular family."
The Best Man
Help the groom choose tuxedo and for the party.
Organize groomsmen's fittings. Keep everything on schedule make sure you get the whole group together if possible.
Plan and give the bachelor party. Not to wild or you will deal with the Bride.
Help arrange wedding accommodations for out-of-town groomsmen and keep up with arrival times.
Help Organize a groomsmen's gift for the groom with him.
Keep groomsmen apprised of any changes in scheduling.
Keep groom posted and advised.
Maid of Honor Checklist
(The real Job)
She's the one fluffing the train, fixing makeup, and (probably) planning the bachelorette party. Here's a pre-wedding to-do list for the woman you've chosen as your MOH.
1. Make sure the bride and bridal party are on track to have their hair and makeup done in time (and that everyone looks great!).
If you sense that someone's updo is going to take a really long time, or see that the bride's lipstick being applied isn't the one she wanted, it's your job to step in. Let everyone politely know of time constraints and reshuffle the schedule to make the timing work.
2. Be aware of any rips in the bride's dress and any veil or train malfunctions throughout the day.
This is why having an emergency kit on hand comes in handy—unfortunately, sometimes zippers break, buttons pop and trains rip, so it's good to have a needle and thread on standby. (Same goes for stain remover if the morning mimosas take a spill on a garment.) Help adjust the bride's veil and smooth out her train before she goes down the aisle too.
3. Learn how to bustle the bride's dress.
It doesn't matter if you learn how to tie or button the bustle during a fitting or the night before the wedding—just make sure you know how to bustle the gown quickly for the wedding day. (It can take a few tries, especially if there are ribbons involved.)
4. Make sure the bride eats and drinks throughout the day.
Even if she's too jittery to eat breakfast, carve out a few minutes of the morning for her to eat something substantial to keep her energy up—a granola bar is better than nothing. Throughout the day, refresh her mimosas and water glass (especially her water glass) and get her a plate from the buffet at dinner. And if you notice she's had nothing but champagne at the reception—which happens!—make sure she takes a few sips of water between each one.
5. Hand out the bouquets, and be prepared to hold the bride's bouquet.
Act as the point person for the bouquets and coordinate with the florist to find out when they'll be delivered, if the bride doesn't have a wedding planner. Hand out each boutonniere, corsage and bouquet, and make sure bouquets can be stuck in water to look fresh if the ceremony isn't for awhile. Also, remember to take the bride's bouquet at the altar, and return it back to her before she walks back down the aisle for the recessional.
6. Act as a host throughout the day.
Does Aunt Lee need help with directions to the reception? Does it look like the cake baker and caterer are having a disagreement? Did Uncle Steve ask for a vegetarian dinner and not get one? Does the bride's grandfather look like he wants to dance but doesn't have a partner? Did the groom's father get stuck in an elevator right before his big speech? (Trust us, it happens.) Take it as a cue for you to step in and help where it's needed, acting on behalf of the couple and their families—especially for things that the newlyweds definitely don't need to be bothered with or know about.
7. Tie up loose ends at the end of the wedding.
Create a list with the couple or their parents ahead of time of any vendors that need to be paid when the night is over, so you can be the point person to hand out checks. Also, keep an eye on the gift table and card box, and delegate help bringing gifts and cards into a secure room or someone's car after the party's over.
8. Take care of the bride's wedding dress after the reception.
It's sad, but sometimes true: The beautiful wedding dress that was obsessed over for months and altered to perfection can often end up in a heap on the floor if the bride's rushing to change into her reception dress or after-party dress. Make her happy in advance by helping her change out of it and hanging it back up in the garment bag, smoothing out any wrinkles and attacking any champagne stains with stain remover from your emergency kit. Bonus points if you hold onto it and deliver it back to her after the honeymoon
Mother of the Bride
The mother of the bride may help her daughter in many different aspects of planning, such as scouting out venues, managing the guest list, and finding the perfect dress. She traditionally has the honor of choosing her outfit before the groom's mother. The mother of the bride also attends the bridal shower and rehearsal dinner, and typically heads the receiving line at the reception.
Father of the Bride
The bride's father may co-host an engagement party with his wife. The father of the bride has the first pick on the engagement party date, if the groom's parents also want to hold their own party. The father of the bride is traditionally the one to escort her down the aisle (although this is not always the case). He may also give a special speech during the reception and have a dance with his daughter.
Mother of the Groom
Generally, the mother of the groom should defer to the mother of the bride. That said, she may offer to help with different aspects of wedding preparations. The mother of the groom may wish to initiate get-togethers with the bride and her family prior to the wedding. She should consult with the mother of the bride before planning her outfit. The mother of the groom should attend the bridal shower, if possible, and any other pre-wedding parties. With her husband, she is the traditional co-host of the rehearsal dinner. At the reception, she stands in the receiving line and may dance with her son.
Father of the Groom
The father of the groom traditionally hosts the rehearsal dinner with his wife. As host of the event, he kicks off any toasts given that evening. He may also give a speech at the reception and stand in the receiving line.
Grandparents
Grandparents often receive special seating at the ceremony and/or reception and are escorted down the aisle before the processional. They do not stand in the receiving line, however.
Siblings
Siblings of the bride and groom may be asked to be attendants in the wedding party. They may also be asked to perform other duties within the ceremony and reception. Siblings typically attend pre-wedding parties and nowadays may even offer to host a bridal shower.
Children
Children of the bride and groom should be told about the engagement first, especially if this is a second marriage for their parent. They should be asked if they would like to help with wedding preparations and be included in the ceremony in some way if they wish. Children's participation is optional, however; and they should decide the extent to which they will be involved.
Note
If your family or families have experienced divorce, remarriage, step-relationships, or family feuding, give serious thought to these issues as early in the planning process as possible. Consider that divorced parents may not be on friendly terms. If they are to attend, seating should be adjusted accordingly so they aren't made to feel awkward or uncomfortable.